Description:

(ESTABLISHING SHOT) A weary ADVENTURER, wearing battered armor and 10
glowing rings, clutching a potion bottle, and laden with all manner of
weapons, magical devices, and sacks of gold, lies panting on the
ground outside of the seedy-looking entrance to a grimy Dungeon. The
nearby scenery is uniformly grey and uninteresting.

Bluff Male Voice: Retrieved the Amulet of Yendor too many times to
count?

Sultry Female Voice: Can't see anything in the Eye of Larn?

BMV: Eaten one too many Zombie corpses?

SFV: Run out of Greater Gods to kill?

CLOSE-UP: The ADVENTURER's sweat-streaked face, which is nicked and
bruised. He has a black eye.

The ADVENTURER nods wearily, and, it seems, with some boredom.

MBV+SFV: Then take the ultimate challenge ... The final quest ...
OMEGA!

(PAN VERTICALLY TOWARD SKY) The Mormon Tabernacle Choir: Ooooooo --
mega!

A shaft of brilliant sunlight pierces the overcast sky, revealing a
Mystic Portal in the sky. A rainbow bridge lances from the portal
toward the ADVENTURER. As the ADVENTURER hesitantly sets foot on the
bridge, he (with the viewer) is swept through the M.P. in a
masterpiece of computer animation. There is a flash of light, and a
TRANSFORMED ADVENTURER, in newly polished and chromed armor, wielding
a flaming sword, strides confidently toward an edifice that makes the
Castle of Ultimate Darkness look like a sandcastle. The landscape is
vibrantly colored, and we feel that there are new challenges awaiting
just over the horizon.

TMTC: Magnificat! Magnificat! Magnificat!

BMV: Coming Soon to a site near you!

SFV: Challenge Omega -- The Final Quest!

As the ADVENTURER passes through the entrance to the AWESOME CASTLE, a
giant portcullis slams shut behind him with the force of a Death Star
bulkhead, and we hear a muffled scream, soon cut off.

Satanic Male Voice: If you dare! <laughs insanely>